Doppelgänger

This poem used a technique that I used primarily for I Am Scorpio, my second poetry book. In this book, I wrote a lot from the perspective of a character I created. Just like "A Wolf in Black Sheep's Clothing," I wrote this next poem from the perspective of someone else looking into my life. This character is darker and it felt like I was allowing this strange new part of me to take over my life.

You are weary from running

Your lungs burn from inhaling guilt

Only to exhale regret

Your feet ache from running on shards of broken promises

From the fragile glass of false hopes and dreams

Your time is finished here

This character is addressing that I am weary from all of my problems and wants to take over my actions for me.

My time is just beginning

Let me take the wheel

Let me  use your bony fingers to drive

Not headfirst off of a cliff but rather

Along the edge just to feel the rush

Of blood fly through your head

The taste of dying in your mouth

But not enough to fill your stomach

I wrote these lines when I was in New Zealand earlier this year, being driven through winding roads around cliffs. The idea of someone taking over for me gives me comfort and makes me feel alive.

Let me live for you, my sweet

I'll enter your life like honey

And exit your life like bees

I'll linger in your life like pollen

And burden your life like allergies

Giving  you the biggest buzz a high can give

Bees are curious creatures. They can be resourceful and helpful to the environment, but when threatened, they can also be dangerous. That's sort of the effect that I was going with this character I created for myself.

I'm doing this as a favor to you

Because your time is finished here

I am your new beginning

And I will also be your new end

I called this poem "Doppelganger" because I was struggling with my bipolar disorder. For those who don't know, I got diagnosed earlier this year with this mental illness. Because of this, many of my poems have dual imagery to represent this. So in a way, this character I had created was a way of coping with what I was experiencing from this illness.

Lastly, there's a photo that I absolutely have to thank my friend Nova for editing. He created this effect where there were multiple versions of myself, which represented this poem very well as you can see below.