Wonderland

I have an addiction to adulthood

But all I want to do is sleep and dream about it

And while I lay there, I grow somber

And I hide my depression with a Cheshire cat smile

Eyes green with envy

A winding tale

Teeth like piano keys

Tears that paint my cheeks rosy red

It's so hot here

I'm sweating from the number of blankets I use

So I stick my foot out

Dip my toe in the cold air of the stale room

Reality is too cold, so I'd rather sweat

I'd rather sweat from the number of blankets I use

So I tuck my foot back in

I continue to grow somber

I hide my anxiety with the blankets over my head

A hat covering my madness

Time always escaping me

Hands clammy and thoughts boisterous

Tears that flood my pillows, making a salty ocean

It's unbearably hot here

I can't stop sweating from the number of blankets I use

So I throw the blankets off

Let the air twist its arms around me

The burdens of adulthood like flowers on my body

I have an addiction to adulthood

But I'd rather be weighed down with heavy blankets

I'd rather continue sweating from the number of blankets I use

So I throw the blankets back over me

And it continues to get excruciatingly hot

I continue to sleep and dream about my troubles

I continue to grow somber

I continue to live in and out of Wonderland

This is one of my favorite poems I've ever written. A few of my poems draw inspiration from Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." This particular poem is about a moment of depression. When you are trapped with your thoughts in your bed, for days at a time even, you do nothing but sleep and overthink.

I write that "I have an addiction to adulthood." This is a strange way of saying that I tend to obsess over the way my life has gone as an adult. I overthink and obsess over unresolved issues in my life, over my past and over my future, and over responsibilities that I have as a man.

I think most adults can relate to this, especially those who are battling depression. It's a state of mind that makes you feel delusional as if you are actually in "Wonderland" experiencing all of the chaos that Alice experiences, but without any of the fun whims that follow.